So, the title of today’s blog may be confusing. I also could have called it, “Be Careful What You Wish For”, but I thought that was too cliché. Nonetheless, I am often confronted with getting what I want, only to find that I really didn’t want that, or more specifically, that particular version of what I got. For example, I wish I had more friends, but I hate it when people talk to me. I am going to share two stories of my life that illustrate this dichotomy that I live with everyday. Both stories occurred yesterday.
My son and I went shopping. We were looking for a velcro strap for his leg. He rides his bike to school and the weather has been cooler lately. Since shorts season may be leaving us soon, we needed something to protect his right pants leg from the bike chain. While shopping, I saw a woman who I recognized from church shopping with her two kids. She was directly in the path of where I was planning on walking and I foresaw an impending forced hello and meaningless conversation about something irrelevant. To avoid this torturous situation, I turned down an aisle and pretended that I did not see her, and hoped, or at least assumed that she did not see me. So, my son and I continued our shopping and went down an aisle, turned the corner, and BAM, there she was right in front of us. She then, proceeded to walk right passed us, along with her children and did not say a word.
What?!? How dare she not say hi to me. I know she saw me. What kind of person walks by another person that they recognize and not say hello? That’s not very Christian. I was upset. I can’t believe she would just blow me off like that. I almost turned around and said, “Hey! Lady! (Because I did not know her name, although I probably should have, since I know her husband’s name) I know you know me! You better recognize! What would Jesus do? WWJD! WWJD Bee-yotch!” OK, the bee-yotch would have been too much, but you get my gist. At least I had the common decency to duck down an aisle and attempt to avoid her all together, but I guess love and kindness is truly dead. Yes, I know, I need help.
The second event took place after my son’s football game. My son is 11-years-old and plays in a youth football league. His team plays other sixth grade teams in the region. My son has a physique built for football. He is 5’6″, weighs at least 140 pounds, size 10.5 shoe and is strong. He mainly plays nosetackle on defense. The problem is, well, it is not really a problem, but one obstacle to football greatness is his lack of a single aggressive bone. He is the nicest kid you will ever meet. The phrase gentle giant comes to mind. The truth of the matter is, I want him to do well in football. And without much effort he plays a lot during the games, but he is not first string. His coaches know that he could be the best player out there, but they have not been able to tap in to his aggressive spirit.
What bothers me the most is that he doesn’t seem to care or mind that he is not better. I have on more than one occasion got mad at him for not, in my opinion, playing his best. He also doesn’t seem to be bothered when the team loses, which is rare, but this might anger me the most. How can you not want to win? This is why I no longer go to his practices. I do not want to ruin the experience for him by being one of those dads. But, this year, I have been quiet.
Yesterday, his team was behind the whole game and ended up losing 26 to 12. My son played one series and that’s it. After the game I was furious, but again, chose not to say anything to him, nor his coach. I really don’t want to be that guy. While driving him to his mother’s, I noticed that my son seemed sad. I asked him what was wrong. He told me that he was disappointed that he didn’t play much and sad that the team lost. He looked like he was going to cry. OK, I did not want THIS. We talked some more, and I suggested that next practice he ask his coach what he can do to improve and therefore play more during games. He said he would do that. And I hope he does. I am excited for this, but it is crucial that I let him find his own way toward finding self motivation. It is less about what I want, and more about what is best. I want him motivated and to care, but not to be overly sad about every defeat. It’s a fine line.
A quick addendum; I normally sit by myself at his football games because I really don’t know anyone else. I am sometimes upset that no one sits next to me, or says hi. Yesterday, I sat next to one of my son’s friend’s parents. I hated every moment. It’s not easy being me.
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Last week I drove to work and parked my car in a parking lot that is about 300 yards from my building. As I am walking a woman starts talking to me about how nice it is to park in a lot that’s free. Then ponders how many people know about this free lot and wonders if it will always be easy to park in that lot. She introduces herself, and then asks a whole bunch of questions about me. Luckily for me, she did not work in my building and I had to cut the conversation short to go to my office. Who does this? She talked to me like she knew me. She talked non-stop and in my opinion tried to make a conversation way too personal for a first-time, you-are-a-stranger conversation. You know what is weirder? This happened to me twice this week. This kind of stuff happens to me ALL THE TIME. Why? Why? Why? And how can I make it stop?!? I’m just sayin …
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