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Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’

So, you might be surprised to learn that I talk to myself.  I don’t talk to myself in the way you might think.  For example, some people I know talk out loud as if someone else is there, but no one is there.  I find it kind of spooky when I run into that.  Imagine walking into the house and hearing someone speaking to someone else, but you find that there is no one else in the room or the house.  Who are they talking to?  And why does it sound so natural for them to be carrying on a conversation with the air?

No, I talk to myself in my mind.  As a matter of fact, I have full-on conversations in my mind.  Sometimes I can make myself angry because of what someone in my mind says.  Here is how it works:  In my department, about 20 of us, we have weekly meetings.  I might imagine a departmental meeting in my mind.  I will create a subject, and everyone will speak and react the way I think they would in real life.  Sometimes I do this in preparation of an upcoming meeting, but other times it is random.  The funny thing is, I have always done this, ever since I was a little kid.  The only difference between now and when I was a little kid is that my lips would move as I imagined conversations in my head.  I think many people, especially my family found this to be annoying.  Imagine seeing some kid’s lips moving as if he is talking to someone, but no sound is coming out of his mouth.  You might find that weirder than the out-loud conversation described above.  Now when I talk in my mind I am better at NOT moving my mouth.

Why am I writing about this?  I don’t know really, other than the fact that I got really mad this morning because of what someone said in my head.  It took a moment to realize that the person was a figment of my imagination and I really did not have a good reason to be angry.  After all, it was just in my own mind.

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No funny ending today, but a friend of mine did say something to me in a discussion about students and their work towards graduation that I hope to always remember:  “You can have anything you want, but you can’t have it any way you want it.”  I like that.  I’m just sayin’ …

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So, I was defriended, unfriended, removed as a friend from someone’s facebook.  Yes, I know I was going to talk about my near-death experience, but by the time I publish that story it will be anti-climactic, so it is probably for the best.  Besides, this just happened, and I need to write about it.  OK, where was I?  Oh yeah, someone removed me from their friends list.  What’s up with that?

Now, I am not a huge fan of facebook?  I still haven’t seen the movie, although I plan to, but I just don’t go on it very often.  When I do go on my facebook page, it is usually because I got an email that someone said something to me, tagged me, or I had a stupid thought that I wanted to share on the facebook airways.  Granted, even when I have a stupid thought, of which I have many, I still only hand select a few stupid thoughts worthy enough for me to take the time out to log on and litter your brain with my randomness.  This is the main reason I started a blog.  It gives you, the reader, the option of whether or not you want to log on and read what I have to say.  Most of the stuff I see on facebook, I couldn’t care less about.

But, I find facebook useful in one way, and one way only.  There are people in my life and past life that every now and then I would love to see how they are doing.  The few close friends that I have, hopefully are not relying on facebook to know how my life is going.  If that is the case, then I find that sad, partially because I don’t share enough on facebook for you to know anything about me, of course you could always read my blog =).  I hate emoticons, but I use them, and every time I do, I die a little inside, =(.  Actually, there is one other reason; if I ever won a contest to throw a party for me and 100 of my friends, I now have a mechanism to make that happen.  Have you ever heard one of those contests?  I have never entered a contest where the winner gets to throw a party for 10 or more people.  I am just not that popular.  Oh well.

OK, here is what happened.  A person in my past life popped in my head.  I had befriended them long time ago and thought I would look them up to see how they were doing.  THEY WERE NOT ON MY LIST!  What!  I know I didn’t take them off.  They must have done it.  You know what it felt like.  It was like you have decided to break up with your boy/girlfriend, but before you get a chance to break up, they break up with you.  Suddenly  you are talking about how much you love them and can’t live without them, although had they not broken up with you, you would have broken up with them.  That is how I feel right now.  How can I be removed from a friends list?  I’M BRETT WOODS!  Are you kidding me?  But it is so stupid.  I almost never go on facebook, and this unconscionable action probably took place months ago, maybe even more than a year.  That is how much I have no idea about the activity of people on my friends list.  Maybe there are people on my list that are sad that I don’t interact more.  Possible.  Am I going to change?  No.  And yet here I am, Mr. Sad Face.  What are you going to do? 

This may sound like a stupid irrational reaction to you, and it is, but everyone has their thing.  What is yours?  I hate rejection.  I just do.  You might be saying to yourself, but who doesn’t.  I really, really hate it.  Mainly because I expect everything to go my way, but that is another issue.  I will get over this, eventually, but for now, I must live with the fact that everyone does not want to be my friend.  Sad clown =(

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I am at the library right now and there is a woman who is working behind the desk who I think is pretty.  But here is the thing, her beauty is highly depended on her age.  Of course beauty is relative, as I point out in a previous blog, aptly named, Beauty is Relative.  Check out that blog as I discuss additive and subtractive points for different scenarios.  In this case, the librarian gets one point, just by being a librarian.  Hot librarians are rare, and therefore get an automatic point addition by being good-looking.  However, this librarian is unique in that she is 50 years old if she is a day.  So, here is my beauty ranking for her:

If she is 35 years or younger, she is a 3 (no added library point for being below 5)

40 – She is a 4.

45 – She is a 5, plus a point for being a librarian, and gets a final point total of 6.

50 – She is a 6 + 1, for a grand total of 7.

55-60, she is an 8 (7+1).  60-70, brings her up to a 9(8+1).

If she is 70 years old or older, she is a stone cold fox, and receives the coveted 10 ranking with the librarian adjustment.  I’m just sayin …

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