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Posts Tagged ‘Christmas’

So, my son was reading a book online about winter activities.  Keep in mind, we are not those kind of parents.  We don’t have a family where the son is reading a book online and the daughter is in her room playing with dolls.  Of course, at this time, that was exactly what was happening.  Even a blind squirrel finds a nut.  Anyhoo, my son reads a book online, then listens to the program narrator read the book, and then takes a quiz on the book.  I know.  Kind of nerdy, right?  He loves it!  He gets points for books read and quizzes correctly answered.  It is called Raz Kids.  I highly recommend it.  Besides, if you met my son, you would know, he is anything but a nerd, not that there is anything wrong with that.

In the book, the narrator kept referring to building a snow person.  A snow person?  You mean building a snowman?  I am not exactly anti political correctness, but sometimes I think we go a little overboard with being politically correct.  Are people truly offended by the term, snowman?  Are little girls not growing up to their full potential because of the lack of snowwomen examples in their lives?  Give me a freakin’ break!

I believe in gender issues.  I will be the first person to tell you that images on TV and movies are ridiculous.  I hate the fact that any girl clothing I buy for my daughter is pink.  My daughter doesn’t like pink, and that should be OK.  I think it is disappointing that the only images of women on TV are thin blonde, overly ethnic aggressive, or too jolly fat women.  The reality is that people like female stereotypes.  If you don’t believe me, look at the money made by movies in which women are not played as stereotypes, i.e., Princess and the Frog (see previous blog on this subject).  My three-year-old daughter wanted a doll house for Christmas.  The doll house options made me want to throw up in my mouth a little bit.  You know what I got her?  Scratch that.  You know what Santa brought to our house?  My daughter received a Doc McStuffins Clinic.

Best dollhouse EVER!

Best dollhouse EVER!

It looks just like a house, but it is really a doctor’s house with a female black doctor.  You can’t beat that!  My point is that I believe in gender equality, but I refuse to support the term, snow person.  Why?  Because of the simple fact that all snow beings are male.  How do I know?  Snow balls. I rest my case.

 

 

 

 

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Can you imagine if we take this to the next level?  Hey everyone, let’s go outside and have a snow genitals fight!  Talk about a sign of the apocalypse.  I’m just sayin’ …

Then again, maybe they are gender neutral.  Anatomically correct?

Then again, maybe they are gender neutral. Anatomically correct?  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

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So, for some reason I woke up this morning thinking about death. It may have to do with the fact that I have been with my family for the last 67 hours and 20 minutes, but who is counting. I love my family, but holidays are stressful.

It starts off with trying to get out the door. We got three kids, and we need to make sure everyone has what they need for the annual trip to the great white north. Of course, this year, the north is not so white. Not a flake of snow this year, and it’s Minnesota. What is up with that? I am not a huge fan of snow, but even for this California boy, it is weird. It does make the drive less stressful, which is nice. This year is particularly difficult, as I still have grading to do, my oldest is sick as a dog, and I can’t seem to figure out why on God’s green earth my wife’s suitcase is so freakin’ heavy. Next year I am implementing a new family rule, if the wife can’t load it into the car, it is too damn heavy. If I was an airline, I would charge her 50 bucks. Actually, I like that idea better. Just call me United, because I am charging for extra bags and over the weight limit bags next year.

There is also of course, the standard snide remarks and evil looks. “We were supposed to leave an hour ago.” “I am hungry” – this is not the kids, it is me. “Can you change Violet’s diaper?” “I can’t do that at the same time as doing the last thing you asked me to do.” “Where is the camera?” “Why is your suitcase so heavy.” “Did you bring the camera?” “Maybe it is in your suitcase.” “I thought you had it.” “I didn’t have it, why would I have it?” “You had it last.” “No I didn’t, you used it at that thing.” “It doesn’t matter, where is it? Oh here it is.” And then of course, after everyone is loaded in the car, the wheels are beginning to spin in reverse, the it-never-fails, “Shoot! I forgot something.” Ugggggggghhh! Eventually, we arrive to the father-in-law’s house without incident. Let the holidays begin.

As I said before, my oldest son was sick. He is feeling a lot better now. While we were trying to get out the door, he was asleep in his bedroom. We did not leave without him, but I thought it would have been funny if we did. The reason I thought about this was because I completely forgot about him as I was loading the car, then all of sudden he came out of his bedroom with his backpack full of the things he needed for the trip. I then thought, “Oh yeah, my son is coming with us.” How funny would that have been if we had left without him? Half way to Minneapolis, “I feel like we are missing something.” I told this to my son. He did not think the possibility was as funny as I did. Did you know that many people have a story of how their parents left them alone somewhere when they were a kid? If I remember correctly, my ex-wife was left alone at a gas station. She came out of the bathroom and her family was gone. I wonder how often this happens.

So, back to death. As I stated, I woke up this morning thinking of death. Not in a Nicholas Cage, Leaving Las Vegas sad kind of way, but more in a uplifting Leanardo DiCaprio, Titanic kind of way. My heart will go on. You see I have been very impressed with my kids over the last couple of days. Let’s start with Violet. She was wonderful in the car (almost five hours) and seems to be comfortable wherever we go. She explores, smiles. and interacts with everyone. She is quite frankly, a joy. My son, Isaac is awesome as always, but what has been most wonderful is his patience. If you have ever met my son, Isaac, you know that he has enough energy to power a major city, and I mean Los Angeles. And with all the waiting around, packing and unpacking, he has been awesome. And finally, my oldest, Brett Jr. He brought his violin. And has put on two concerts already, and the family has loved each and everyone of them. I am so proud of the way that he has presented himself and how wonderful it is to watch him play the violin for others. He has one more concert, and that will be on Christmas day. He is amazing.

So, when I die, I want there to be no ambiguity in my children’s minds on how I feel and felt about them. On my deathbed, there will be no question of how much they meant to me. Why? Because I will tell them now, and everyday until my death. In this holiday season, regardless of your belief, take a moment to let the ones you love know how you feel. Don’t let it wait till your eulogy, tell them now. May love be shared this holiday season, and may it be shared as strong and powerful as the One who gave His Son to be born on Christmas Day. Merry Christmas everyone!

Cool. It’s snowing.
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I was at the post office and I saw a Kwanzaa stamp. Are people still doing this? I am black, and I’m still unsure exactly what it means to celebrate Kwanzaa.  I agree with Stanley’s response to all of the political correctness surrounding the Holiday Season, from the TV show, The Office, “I don’t want it.  Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is Christmas.  I don’t want no Kwanzaa wreath.  I don’t need no dreidle in my face, that’s its own thing.  And who is that black Santa for?  I don’t care.  I know Santa ain’t black.  I could care less.  I want Christmas!  Just give me plain baby Jesus lying in the manger Christmas!”  I agree with Stanley.  I’m just sayin …

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Happy Christmas!

So, supposedly there is a war on Christmas, at least if you believe  anything that Fox News says.  Of course, I don’t believe Fox News for  most things as they make more news than they report on.  What is even a more cruel twist of fate, evil irony, or just plain devil incarnate (Can  you tell how I feel about Fox News?) is that they report on the news  that they make up.  If you pay attention, you will discover this for  yourself, you do not have to believe me.

A war on Christmas? Really?  Here is the big issue, they hate the fact  that people are saying Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas.  So,  freaking what!?!  Are you telling me that if people suddenly begin to  say Happy Holidays instead of Christmas than the United States of  America will suddenly become a Muslim state?  Seriously?  Do you think  the Jewish people are complaining that people are saying Merry Christmas?  Find me one, just one! They don’t care.  What about the  Muslims?  Contrary to what Fox News might tell you, the Muslims that  live here, want to be here and like it here.  As a matter of fact, go  to your local Muslim owned gas station, and you know what will be  written on their windows?  That’s right, Merry Christmas.  They are not stupid, they know that their culture and belief system will not be  destroyed by experiencing the local culture, which is Christmas.

Santa the God Destroyer

The funny thing is, you know what is really killing Christmas?  Fox  News, no, just kidding.  Seriously, the killer of Christmas is Santa  Claus.  For those of you that may not be aware, Christmas is the  celebration of the birth of Baby Jesus.  Santa and the shopping season  as so destroyed that concept that many people who I know make comments like, “We don’t have Santa with our kids.  We are not Christian.”  That is an actual quote from a person that I know.  The idea that people  equate Santa and the commercialism of gifts and Christianity is the  real killer of Christmas.  If you know me, or read my blog, you  probably know that I am a Christian and we celebrate the birth of Jesus in our home and I don’t give a flying Fahrvergnügen if you say Happy Holidays or not.  Why should I care?  You can say Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, or Rad Ramadan (you like that? Just made it up) to me and it won’t affect my beliefs.  The biggest lesson that most people need to learn is that “What you do ain’t got nothin’ to do with me!”  So, don’t let Fox News convince you that you are doing something wrong by saying “Happy Holidays”.  Since when did it become wrong to care about not hurting other people’s feelings.  As a matter of fact, it sounds like something Jesus would do.

Oh, and you left-wing, tree-hugging, liberals, I got something for you  too.  Chill out!  Do you know what the most popular holiday in the US is?  That’s right, Christmas.  And that’s a fact.  Well, I don’t know if it’s a fact, but I do know that if you are off of work right now, it is because of Christmas.  You know why?  Because you live in the United States of Frickin America, that’s why.  If I lived in Israel, do you think I would be complaining about Hanukkah?  Like it or not, if you live in the US then deal with the fact that Christmas is popular.  So, say Merry Christmas!  If you are offending someone, just say “Sorry, my bad, I did not realize that by saying Merry Christmas I was rejecting your culture, or claiming that your religion was wrong.  Or maybe you are just a little too sensitive about what I say as a greeting?  Maybe you need to reevaluate what you believe in if a two-word salutation by me is going to rock your faith or lack thereof.  Or maybe, just maybe, you need to be worrying less about what I am saying and more about how you can spend more times with your kids and wife instead of worrying about what other people are saying or doing.  Now, get out of my face before I go Bad Santa all over your ass.  Oh and by the way, Merry Christmas!”

So, the moral of this story is do what you got to do.  Say Happy 
Holidays if you like, you will not destroy Christmas.  Say Merry 
Christmas, and if someone is offended, then say sorry and move on, or try my suggestion above.  Regardless, I hope you have a great and loving time with your friends and family this holiday season.  And I believe that Gumby said it best, “Merry Christmas Damn It!”

Eddie Murphy as Gumby. Awesome!

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Over Thanks giving, my got mad because I hated the fact that I had to wait in line as a kid at the grocery store while she ran off and got something she forgot.  She pointed out that I didn’t mind it when she waited in line at Disneyland so that me and my friends did not have to wait going from ride to ride.  She is right, but I still hold to the fact that I hated it.  But it makes me think of my own kids as we take them to Mall of America for Christmas Eve, spend hours upon hours looking for the items that we know they want, or drive from place to place so they can go sledding, see friends, or go to the mall with friends.  And they have no idea what we go through to make them happy.  Just as I did not appreciate my mom waiting in lines for me at Disneyland, neither my kids will appreciate until they have kids.  Nonetheless, as parents, it is what we do.  Thanks Mom!  And Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.  I’m just sayin …

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I’m in Minneapolis right now, and it is the freakin’ ice age up here.  There is like 2-3 feet of snow on the ground and it keeps snowing.  What amazes me every year is the number of black people who I see living here.  Black folks and snow? Who knew?  I get the white folks.  They are crazy, but the black folks?  What is the world coming too?  I’m just sayin (Part Deux) …

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