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Another quick blog.  If you read grammatical or spelling errors, shut yo’ pie hole!  I don’t want hear it.  Just read and enjoy.

I hate running (roll credits).  Do you know runners?  Runners love running.  You have probably heard about the runner’s “high”, the adrenaline rush, or just the dopamine pleasure center being stimulated.  Maybe it’s true, but for me it’s hogwash.  That’s right, I said it, HOGWASH!  Man do I hate running.  So, why do I run?  Because I said I would.

I have a weird personality in the sense that if I say I am going to do something, I am going to do it.  I treat everyone this way.  If you want to piss me off, than say you are going to do something, regardless of how small, and then don’t do it.  (side note:  Did you know that “piss” is one of the words that you can’t say on radio and I think TV.  Google George Carlin’s 7 words you can’t say on TV, hilarious).  Anyhoo, I made a promise to my self that I would run a 5K.  I feel like everyone should be able to run five kilometers.  Seems reasonable, right?  So, I promised that I would try a new app, called C25K.  I did make one caveat, if my asthma kicks up or my knee acts up, as they are both prone to do, I would come up with plan B, maybe biking (which I enjoy).  Guess what?  Neither has happened.  Damn it!  Insert Carlin’s seven words here.

Everyone told me that once I improved my running, I would start enjoying it.  WRONG!  The crazy thing is, the app is working.  I am about to complete week six of the eight week program.  Granted, I often repeat weeks, but nonetheless, I would recommend the app.  I am theoretically two weeks away from running five kilometers.  And then what?  Because I hate the running.  Knowing me, I will download an app to run 10K.  Why? Because I’m an idiot.

I hate the fact that I run slow.  I hate sweating, which is stupid, because I sweat a lot.  I always have, and I have always hated my sweating.  So, basically, the longer I run, the more negative things I say about myself.  Seriously, if you could be in my head as sweat drips off my body like Niagara Falls, you would think I was talking to Hitler.  I hate the fact that I don’t have asthma attacks.  I just keep breathing.  I hate the fact that despite the fact that I am tired and feel like my body is going to collapse, if I just keep running, my body keeps running.  Stupid body!

Here is what I do like about running.  I like the trail.  North Carolina has Greenways which I think are awesome.  I like the surprising amount of wildlife, deer, butterflies, frogs, millipedes, snails, red-tail and sharp-shinned hawks, tree squirrels, and diverse human beings.  There is a group of women from India that I see all the time.  Every time, they remind me of my friends, Vic and Daisy.  I haven’t decided if that is racist or not.  I’m going to chalk it up to missing some really good friends.  A group of old black and white women, a group of old black women, a group of old white women, couples of various racial combinations and people walking their dogs.  It’s silly, but I love it!  It all distracts me from the thing that I hate, my running.

But I will continue.  Because I said I would.  And I will be excited when I finally run my first 5K.  Maybe my next goal will be, “Is it really so bad to weigh 400 pounds?  Let’s find out.  Because I said I would.”

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