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Posts Tagged ‘makeup’

So, today is Halloween.  I can’t overstate this enough, I hate Halloween.  If you were to ask me which day out of the 365 or 366 days of the year I hate the most, the answer would be quick and easy, Halloween.  I realize that I am in the clear minority with this, but I don’t care, I could do without the day.  Here is the run down of why:

I hate makeup.  Not the makeup a woman wears to make herself pretty, or the even the makeup an actor might wear on stage.  I hate the caked on obvious kind of makeup.  This includes Mary Kay old women, transvestites, and clowns, especially clowns.  Why do people like clowns?  They are very disturbing, not funny, not funny at all.

I hate strangers at my house.  It is the one day of the year where it is not only acceptable to knock on a stranger’s house, but actually encouraged.  I don’t know these people.  Then on top of that, they show up at my door with their greedy hands out wanting something from me.  this is MY candy.  I bought it with my hard-earned money.  Who do you think you are?

I have a bad childhood experience with Halloween.  First off, I still have a vivid memory of being told to stick my head down in the back of the car that my brother was driving because of some crazy people in chase.  It was in the parking lot of Ganesha High School in California.  Very traumatizing.  Secondly, my oldest brother, Thomas, made it his personal goal to scare me as much as humanly possible.  This was never more true than on Halloween.  Just a day to encourage bad behavior.

I am not a huge fan of candy.  Probably from my childhood days of being denied candy on a regular basis, but nonetheless, I can do without it.  As a matter of fact, I don’t like candy in my house, because if it there, I will eat it.  So, as a general rule, I do not buy the stuff.

I hate glorifying evil.  Once again, this is the only day of the year where it is encouraged to dress up like the dead, ghosts, goblins, murderers, death, etc.  It’s gross.  I don’t care what your beliefs are, but to actively invite evil into your life disturbs me.

I hate strangers.  I realize this is similar to my previous point of strangers at my house, but this point can’t be stressed enough.  I hate strangers.  Strangers in costume, even worse.

And finally, here as some rules that I think should be followed on this horrid day:

If you are 13 or older, no trick or treating.  A city banned this in Illinois and I completely support the move (http://www.kltv.com/Global/story.asp?S=13413268).

If you have a baby in a costume, or a child that can not speak or go up to the door on their own, but you are collecting candy on their behalf, you need serious help.  I realize that the food stamps may not be sufficient, but using Halloween to go shopping is just wrong.  And they always look like they have just got out of a stereotype movie.  One couple I saw was literally barefoot, dressed like hillbillies.  Costumes? I don’t think so.

If you are a teenager, which you shouldn’t be (see above) you should have an excellent costume.  A wife beater t-shirt and ripped dreams (criminal on Cops) does not count.

No reaching or grabbing for candy.  You will be SHOT!

So, that is how I feel.  I am sure you disagree, but I am clearly right on this one.

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Is it me or are Halloween costumes geared towards women? I took my son to Halloween Express to get him a Superman costume.  I felt like I needed to blindfold him as we walked the aisles.  Sexy cop, sexy prisoner, sexy football player, sexy hooker. OK, I made up that last one, or did I?  I talked to my students about this and we determined that there are levels.  Skank is the worst, followed by Whoorish, and then Trashy, followed by Revealing, and then Sexy.  Just in case you were wondering.  I’m just sayin’ …

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So, yesterday I played golf with a friend of mine.  In the golf cart was an advertisement for the Martini Lounge.  The last time I had a martini was at a bar in Chicago where transvestite sang for entertainment.  I told him I was not a fan of martinis, nor transvestites, but not for the reasons you might think.  Martinis, mainly because they are pretentious, and transvestites because they wear too much makeup.  I hate makeup.  It is why I hate clowns, Shakespearian actors, Halloween, and anyone who works for or shops at Mary Kay.

The conversation continued into a more controversial area and that is homosexuality as a sin and laws that have been proposed to prevent certain lifestyles, such as gay marriage.  I realize that this is a hot topic for many of my readers.  Hell, it is a hot topic for many Americans, but I do not want to discuss whether or not homosexuality is correct or not.  Quite frankly, I don’t care, but I am interested in the concept of what I will call “The inequality of sin”.

If you are a Christian, or a believer and follower of the Bible, you are aware there are a number of commandments on how one should live.  The Bible is considered by many as the Word of God and when one does not live by the Bible’s commandments, and therefore God’s Word he is committing a sin.  The Bible also clearly states that “… all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” — Romans 3:23.  And this is a point that my friend made.  “Everybody sins.” He said.  I said, “You are right, but the problem is we do not treat sins equally.”  Whether you believe in God or not, whether you are a Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Hindu, or Jewish, I bet you do not treat sins equally.

If homosexuality is a sin, then so is sex before marriage, living with someone you are not married to, wanting what is not yours, such as your neighbor’s wife, adultery, and my favorite, divorce.  We don’t view people living lifestyles in these “minor” categories as major issues.  And we certainly wouldn’t dream of proposing legislation to regulate divorce or living arrangements.  It is kind of hypocritical, isn’t it?  But this is an issue for everyone.  Regardless of your beliefs, my guess is you too have your pet sins.  Here is an example: If a man is convicted of being a pedophile, serves his time and is released, where does he live?  In your town?  My town? The neighboring town? An island?  Even if he reforms, never commits that crime again, he is forever labeled and will find it difficult to receive forgiveness anywhere, and I mean ANYWHERE.  Would I be OK with a pedophile living near me and my family?  Hell no.  But I am aware of my areas of hypocrisy, are you aware of yours?

My church starts a series called “Everybody” next week.  I am looking forward to it.  I believe the church should be more inclusive than it currently is.  If you have ever read the Bible, you will know that people absolutely loved hanging with Jesus.  You also know that he hung out with people who were CLEAR sinners.  People hated him, in part, because of the people he was associated.  Think about it.  The Christian church just 2000 years ago was a handful of people, and now has a membership of millions … millions.  The church was the place to be.  When was the last time you heard of the church as the place to be? Jesus was the man.  I believe if you met Jesus you would like him.  You would want to hang out with him.  Jesus was clearly a cool dude.  He was your bud, your pal, the kind of guy you could throw up in the back of his car and not get mad.  Where is His church?  I want to belong to a church that loves EVERYBODY and people feel welcome within its doors.  I want EVERYBODY to know that they are loved.  Does it mean you must agree with everybody, no but it does mean that we all have issues and we all have fallen short.

I don’t care who you are, you don’t treat sin equally, but if you did, you might not look at that particular person with such disdain and realize, we all got problems.  I don’t agree with everyone the same, but I want to love everyone the same.  I am not there yet, but I strive to be.  How about you?
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Whenever I go to the grocery store and walk through the detergent aisle I think it smells fragrant.  I walk and smell the perfumes and fragrances and have the same thought every time:  This would be a great place to fart.

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