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Posts Tagged ‘television’

So, recently I have seen what television turns into at 2 o’clock in the morning and it is not pretty.  Normally I am not up at 2am and if I am, I am usually working.  As a matter of fact, I don’t recall watching TV in the middle of the night for several years now.  So, when I had a tummy ache Saturday night and no desire to go down to my cold basement to watch Scrubs Season 6 or play Wii Lego Harry Potter, I decided to watch some good ol’ fashion television.  I was shocked!

Let’s start the show with a little Comedy Central playing one of my favorite comics, Louis C.K.  (Check out a very funny bit from Jay Leno)  I turn on the station and get my blankets in place and get comfortable on the couch, when I hear the word F#@& and Motherf#@&er.  And I’m like WHAT!?!  I continue to listen to the comedy act on television, granted cable television, but still, NOT a Pay channel, and the cuss words are just flying.  Not a single bleep in sight.  So, it got me thinking, what else is on television right now.  And leave it to TV that gives so much and asks so little, I give you …

Shop Erotic on the Oxygen Channel.  Now, I have no idea what the Oxygen channel is or why it named after a gas necessary for animal life, but there it was hosted by two women dressed very professionally.  Had it not been for the products they were selling, like the Turbo Glider, or the Deluxe Rabbit Pearl, both of which are for females and I could not tell you what they are or what they do to save my life, but nonetheless, there they were for all the world to see and to buy, and apparently 30% off, what a bargain.  But seriously, had it not been for the products, it would have looked like any other ordinary shopping channel.  The women spoke very professionally and spoke about the special features of the new vibrating pink dildo like you would of a special grilling feature of a Foreman Grill.  When did this happen?

Nowadays, most people have at least basic cable.  And under normal during-the-day circumstances, there is nothing on basic cable that would surprise me.  Even when Comedy Central airs comics, they bleep out most of the bad words.  When did the FCC say it was OK to do anything you want after 2am?  I had no idea this was going on.  Am I appalled? Not really, but I am shocked.  I have no plans on writing my congressman, but I was quite surprised by what I was seeing on TV.  And of course, I watched for at least 20 minutes of all this, mainly because it was like watching a car wreck, I could not turn away.  And yes, I did order like 100 bucks worth of stuff, but that was purely for research.  No, just kidding, I did not order anything, but it did get me thinking about people watching TV at 2am.  If you are sitting on your couch, watching TV at 2am on a regular basis, and you don’t have an excuse like insomnia, illness, or woken up by a baby, than you might need to evaluate your life.  I won’t say reevaluate your life, because if I am speaking about you, then you probably have never evaluated your life to begin with.

Is this new training, and if so, for what?

 

So, I finally, I change the channel, and what do I see?  The Shake Weight.  

COME ON!!

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I have relatively few absolute beliefs, but one absolute belief I have is that you should never run out of toilet paper.  Toilet paper is one of the few items that if you were to go to the store right now and buy 1000 rolls, they would not go to waste.  As a matter of fact, at some point, you would have to buy more toilet paper.  So, the idea of running out of toilet paper is ludicrous.  So, nothing angers me more than to sit down for my daily constitution and to look up and see that there is no toilet paper.  Sacrilege.  This should never ever happen.  And can someone explain to me why the idea of running out of toilet paper only occurred when I started living with a woman.  What you are you ladies doing with the stuff?  Seriously, are you rolling your entire hand and making a toilet paper glove?  I’m just sayin …

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So, today is Wednesday.  You know what that means in the Woods household?  No TV day.  Isn’t that the craziest thing you have ever heard?  TV has given so much and asked so little.  A while back my wife requested that we have at least one day when the television is not turned on.  Of course my response was, “Why would we do that?”  “I don’t know, so that we could talk as a family. Get to know each other maybe.  Bond.” She replied.  Silliness.  Down right silliness.  Which brings us back to today, no TV.

The first time we did this, we announced to only Brett at the time that Wednesday would be no TV day.  He of course asked “Why?”  Mighty fine question son.  Leah explained the deal, and he again asked if we had to, looking to me for help.  I gave him a look as if to say, “We are on the losing team on this particular battle, son.”  Once he saw no help from me, he said, “Fine”.  I still remember that first night like it was yesterday.  Brett Jr. had gone to bed, and the first thing I do is turn on the TV.  Which of course met resistance from my wife.  “What are you doing?  It’s no TV day.”  “What?!?  You meant me too?  Why do I have to have no TV day?” was my response.  “So, we can talk.” She said.  “AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Ugh, I say.”  Which brings us back to today, no TV day.  We have been doing this for several years now.  At has become part of us.  Everyone knows that Wednesday is no TV day.  I remember when my brother and his son was staying with us for a while.  I even made him obey the no TV rule on Wednesdays.  He was not impressed.  Of course it led him to want to move out of our home quicker, so that was a bonus buy.

We will have dinner tonight.  Go around the table and everyone will talk about their days.  After dinner, the boys will “play” fight until the 3-year-old cries and then complain to us that his older brother is being too rough.  To which we will reply, “Then don’t fight with him.”  Thirty seconds later, he is fighting with his brother again, until once again he is crying and the circle of life continues.  Once a little three year old energy has burned off`, at least a little, we will either play a game or watch a movie.  The choice will be affected by how tired we are, which is interesting, as I think most decisions in this house are determined by the adult fatigue level.  Which brings us back to today, no TV day.

Things have evolved over time.  No TV day has slowly become Forced Family Fun Day.  Sometimes it is good to not only NOT watch TV, but get out of the house and do something fun.  The first time we did this, it received the same resistance.  Brett asked me “Do I have to go?”  “Yes” I replied, “As a matter of fact I have to go too.” Hence the term, Forced Family Fun Day, as everyone is forced to enjoy the day.  This is probably mostly for me, as I can be a pill sometimes.  We will be having FFF Day this Friday, which means a second day of no TV.  How did that happen?  I’ll tell you how that happened.  It turns out that kids enjoy hanging out with the family.  Brett Jr. suggested we have family day later this week.  “Traitor! He has been turned over to the Dark Side!”  Well, what do you do?  It turns out my wife’s crazy brained idea has been adopted by the entire family.  Yeah, I don’t mind them either.  What’s a little Forced Family Fun among friends?

So, I will go without TV for two days this week.  I guess it is not a bad price to pay for a family that enjoys being around each other.  Makes you wonder if you shouldn’t consider having a No TV Day of your own, or maybe a FFF Day.  Of course if you do, and your family looks at you crazy, don’t blame me, I’d look at you crazy too.  No TV. Bah!

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You know what is funny?  I got up this morning and it was zero.  ZERO!  That’s cold.  On my way home I think the temperature was around 25.  Now, here is the funny part.  I took OFF my jacket.  In what world is 25 warm?  The Wisconsin world that where!  No one should live here.  I’m just sayin …

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So, for some bizarre reason I have had several conversations in the last few days regarding opinions on how to raise children.  I got into one “argument” with a woman at church because I said I did not think that allowing my son to watch a movie with violence was going to turn him into a serial killer.  This is also a hot topic between Leah and I as she is very very anti-violence.  She would argue that she is not over the top, and perhaps she isn’t, but she and I are definitely at different ends of the spectrum.  Now, don’t get me wrong, my son is 10 years old and he does have restrictions.  For example, he is not allowed to watch  Batman: The Dark Knight, which is probably a good indicator movie for where I draw the line for him.  On the other hand, I have no problem with him watching Iron Man 1 or 2, any of the X-Men movies, although after watching X-Men 3 he said “I think that was a little too violent.”  Which means he is probably able to discern among levels of violence (more of an influence of Leah, than me).  And isn’t that the ultimate goal?  Is our goal as parents to shield our children from “evil” or teach them how to discern and make intelligent choices?  I do NOT want to raise our children in a bubble.

I know parents that do not allow guns of any kind/type in their house.  The kids make guns from sticks found in the yard.  I know parents that do not allow their kids to watch movies or TV with any kind of violence.  The kids see these movies at their friend’s house and can’t wait to see more, and the more violent the better.  I know parents that do not allow their kids to watch TV or movies (except parent selected) at all.  You should see these kids when they are someplace with a television.  They are mesmerized.  They literally look like someone gave them crack cocaine.  I am not saying that their should not be rules or boundaries, quite the contrary, but I do believe that the tighter the box, the wilder they will be when released from parental chains, like a chained animal released for the first time.  The most important question in my mind is how to raise a child that when confronted with bad, will make the right choice?

Practice.  Kids need choices.  I have no idea who you are as a parent, but if your children do not have choices, then when they are released on their own, they will have no idea what to choose when confronted with horrible options, or they will be so depended on your guidance that they will never leave the house.

Kids need to be allowed to make mistakes.  How else do we learn?  Think of your biggest lessons in your life.  I almost guarantee they are from your past mistakes.  This is a tough one for me, because I want him to NOT make the same mistakes I made.  Don’t we all want this?  But why?  If our past mistakes made us who we are today, if we learned valuable lessons from our own mistakes, why would we want to deny this for our children?  With choices comes mistakes, from mistakes come learning and from learning comes independence.

Kids need to be parented.  I have worked with youth for a long time now, and this is the biggest problem I see with kids today, absentee parents.  Absentee parenting occurs regardless whether the one parent or two parents are in the picture.  As a matter fact, I see it more common in homes in which both parents are working.  The nice thing about raising your kids in a bubble is it releases you from parenting.  If you are not around, the bubble is a requirement.  Of course, if you are not around, then the bubble walls are easy to break.  The bottom line, I think it is more important to talk to your kids about the things they see and experience in the world: Parenting.  Talking to my son about his experiences is an area I wish to improve the most in my own life.

Finally, I want to share a parenting issue that I have found to be amazingly true and annoying.  And even if you do not have children, but hope one day to have children, consider this a warning.  The issues that your children face, the issues that will bother you the most, and the issues that will make you the angriest and the most frustrated, are the issues you face yourself.  Nothing will make you more angry than when your child does or experiences something that is a direct reflection of your own flaws.  I hate this and I am actively working to improve this aspect of my parenting life.

So, strive to raise independent children.  You want them to be OK without you.  And remember, they are NOT you.  Let them make mistakes, and their mistakes are not always yours even though it may feel like it sometimes.  Besides, if they don’t may make mistakes, they won’t learn nuthin’.

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All babies are cute.  You look at any animal and you will find that babies are cute.  I teach my students this fact of nature.  It is important that babies are cute because they often do things that make you want to kill them, but you see their sweet smile and it steadies your hand.  And just like in the animal kingdom, by the time babies stop being cute, they are too big to kill.  I’m just sayin …

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