Archive for July 24th, 2010

So, the other day I had to go to Kohl’s to buy shoes for myself and some shorts for my son, Brett. I had a 30% off coupon on top of the sale Kohl’s was already having (I love Kohl’s. Are they ever NOT having a sale?) And Brett Jr. came with me. On our way out, Leah, my wife asked me if I would buy her a bra. My wife is due to have a baby girl any day now, and she is preparing for her new milk-laden boobs. Too much information? Anyhoo, I said, sure, and was on my way. I was surprisingly comfortable with the idea of buying her a bra. I don’t know what that says about me, but I digress. Now, you might be asking the simple question, how could I possibly buy a bra for my wife? If you are a man, you are asking for “man” reasons. If you are woman, you are asking because you know how difficult it is to find a bra that fits properly. Well, the answer is simple; Leah gave me a bra to take with me. She said, “Here, find this bra, but in a different size.” And she told me the size, which I will not mention here just in case that is too personal. So, I walked into Kohl’s with bra in hand prepared to purchase Leah’s “milk” bra, again surprisingly comfortable with this. I asked for help immediately, and asked a Kohl’s employee “Help me find this bra, but in a different size, please.” She was very helpful, but unfortunately, after about 30 minutes of searching and checking the computer, it was discovered that they did not make this particular bra in the size requested. On to get my shoes and Brett’s shorts, this took about 10 minutes.

Now, I apologize for this long introduction to the real reason for this blog. Why aren’t more women upset about the clothing size system? I mean it is ridiculous. Based on my surprisingly vast experience with women’s clothing, here is a list of the things I think all women should strive to change:
1. The sizes that are easiest to find in a store are driven by the “ideal” body type. How many of you reading this blog are the “ideal” body type? Which means if you are smaller than average or bigger than average in any area of your body, you are hosed. How do you accept this? At least for guys there is a big and tall store. Where is your Plump and Beautiful store? Huh?
2. Size actually has no meaning. If I gave you 10 bras made by 10 companies and they were all 36C, I guarantee that each bra would fit differently. It forces women to try on hundreds of bras to find the one that fits. So, when you do find the brand and size that fits, you NEVER leave that brand/size. You are officially trapped by a company, hook, line and sinker. No one is upset by this? These companies are playing you. With relatively few exceptions, I can walk into a store, look for my waist size and my length and walk out with pants that fit, and that is without trying anything on, easy. Which brings me to my third point:
3. Women clothing in general do not use measurements to categorize. What’s up with this? What is a C cup? Does anyone know? What if cup size was actually related to the cup measurement?  Now, this would make sense.  So, let’s imagine the breast as a fillable cup.  If we could fill the breast up with one cup of water, then we could call you a 1-Cup.  Two cups, three cups, etc.   One could even imagine gallon size.  Yikes!  Now this is a good idea.  How come no one has thought of this?  Brilliant, I tells ya.  Brilliant!  “Honey, could you go get me a 36-Two cup?  A 36-2.5 cup would also work.  Thanks.”  Too easy.

And don’t get me started on dress sizes, or pants.  What does size 8 actually mean? Is there a mathematical formula to determine petite? Men would NEVER put up with this, but more importantly, it blows my mind that women put up with this. There is got to be a better system, one that actually makes sense. Now, I would forgive these arbitrary categories if they actually meant something, however, a size 8 is not an 8 is not an 8. It all depends on who makes the size 8. I’m sorry, but this is just stupid.  What is even worse, they are making the sizes bigger.  In other words, if you were a size 8 in 2007, you are probably a size 6 now, even though you weigh exactly the same.  Why?  Because the clothing company knows you will feel better buying a size 6, so if they make their size 6 bigger than company X’s size 6, you will buy from them so that you can tell all your friends that you are a size 6.  RIDICULOUS!!!
4. Finally, the cost. Women’s clothes in general are significantly more expensive than men’s clothes. Do women’s pants cost more to make than men’s? I don’t think so. I have never made clothes, but I would bet dimes to donuts that the process is not all that different. Maybe I am wrong.

So, let the revolution begin now. Women unite. I will be your leader, because I am surprisingly comfortable doing so (see above). No more. We will not be moved. We will no longer accept the changing sizes with manufacturers, we demand sizes that make sense, and we will not rest until we have clothing that are made for the common woman and not the supposed “ideal” super model physique that only exists on television and in movies. Our time is now. We have had all we can stand and we can’t stands no more!
Seriously, cup size should be related to actual measurements?  What is the actual difference between B and C? Does anyone know? What is higher than D? How cool would it be to say your wife or girlfriend is pint, quart or freakish gallon?  Of course in Europe it would be a liter.  But letters for breast size?   It’s almost like a joke that people took seriously. I’m just sayin …


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